Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Ever feel like reading Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, but never had the time, or maybe you had to/have to read it for an assignment? Well here is literally the entire book for you in the shortest no-nonsense form possible with relevant details.

This goes without saying, but *spoiler alert!!*

Slaughterhouse-Five deals with a man named Billy Pilgrim, born on the 4th of July, 1922, who has become unstuck in time. This means that he 'uncontrollably' travels to his past and to his future and lives out the events that occur until he travels again.

"poo-tee-weet"

As a young man, Billy attended the Ilium School of Optometry until being drafted into the Army at 21. Billy was very unprepared for war and was soon taken prisoner in the battle of the bulge with the man who saved his life, Roland Weary. Billy was doing things overseas that would have killed any man and Roland Weary protected him like an older brother. When they were captured, Weary blamed Billy and eventually died of gangrene.

so it goes

Weary's dying wish was for a man, Paul Lazarro, to avenge his death, meaning that he wanted Billy Pilgrim dead. But before Paul could carry out this wish, they were transported from Luxembourg to Dresden. They were forced to settle in a slaughterhouse called "Schlachthof Funf" or "Slaughterhouse Five". The allied forces ended up bombing Dresden later on and completely leveled the city. Billy and some other POWs survived in a meat locker and were forced to clean up the bodies.

so it goes

When the POWs are liberated and transported back to the US, Billy is sent to a psychiatric hospital since he had difficulty coping with what he experienced in the war. His girlfriend, Valencia Werble, whose father owned the Ilium School of Optometry, accepted his offer of marriage and they had a son named Robert and a daughter named Barbara.

so it goes

Based on the story's perception of time, it was his daughter's wedding night that he was abducted by aliens called Tralfamadorians who could see in 4 dimensions and taught him that there is no such thing as free will; every decision has already been made and we are only here to figure out why they were made. Billy learned a lot from these creatures after being held prisoner and was sent back to Earth unharmed.

so it goes

Soon after his return home, Billy was in a plane crash and was the only person to survive. His wife died of carbon monoxide poisoning on her way to visit Billy in the hospital. When trying to tell his daughter of the Tralfams, she told him he was senile and must have hurt his head in the crash.

so it goes

In the future, something he relived many times when he was unstuck, Billy gave a speech about what he experienced with the Tralfamadorians and his perception of time. It is after this speech that Paul Lazarro murders him with a laser gun.

"poo-tee-weet"

Hope you aren't as confused as I was.

SUCCESS

   Things are particularly blurry at 5 am. Especially if it's cold and raining outside.

   If you have a goal in mind, you're willing to lose sleep. You want this thing more than your body wants it. 

   You're love for this one thing keeps you up at night and wakes you up early in the morning. 

   Friends and family support what you do, but they have no idea of the sacrifice.

   If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's life. I realized something tonight. If you want to ever be successful, you have to want that thing as much as you want oxygen to breathe. You can't sleep the day away because you might sleep through an opportunity. Everything you ever worked for in your life comes down to these few years between high school and college. We must push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion. 

   Who cares if it's cool to be relaxed and sit on a couch and fall asleep after school? Who cares if it's cool to not study and get Cs and Ds on tests? Who cares if it's cool to skip practice and give it your all on the day of a game/meet and do your very worst? Think about that for a second. Those things seem acceptable to A LOT OF PEOPLE, though not when worded in that fashion. Why would you not want to study or practice? Why would you fall asleep right after school when you could do your homework and get a good night's rest?

   These college application questions and essays are making me realize that I barely worked as hard as I should have to get into the places I am applying at. Looking at other people's application concerns online and seeing that they VOLUNTEERED for nonprofit organizations, they were PRESIDENTS of their clubs, they were CAPTAINS of their teams, they STUDIED ON WEEKENDS and they are STILL worried that they won't be accepted makes me look back at my own resume and see that I was just a MEMBER of clubs, I NEVER volunteered for anything other than an Italian festival, I was almost NEVER a leader in anything I did, and I PROCRASTINATED all my assignments until the night before they were due. And I think I have a shot at acceptance over these kids. Ha.

   We need to start working hard or we will miss all opportunities that are given to us around this age. We can't see them now, but there are a lot of people and companies out there looking for people like us, but they cannot single us out because of our small level of involvement. How will they know who we are and what we're good at if we don't show them what we are good at? Makes no sense.

   So much adrenaline pumping right now. And it's 1:59 am. Gosh, I want to be successful. 17 isn't a bad age to start, I guess. See you on the track tomorrow.

~This isn't the only thing I want to be. I'll keep you posted.

   

MOVIES

Alright, so a major part of my life is the fact that I absolutely love movies. Whether it be western, crime, classic or comedy, I have no care; I'll probably watch it. My favorite movies are ones you can look back on and remember at least one line that is life-defining. Something you'll remember for the rest of you life that reminds you of what it means to be living.
Over the past 2 years, I've seen probably over 400 movies and they were all amazing (except for Fargo. Why do people like that movie?). Some I don't remember well and others I could never forget. When I watch movies, it's like leaving my mind and becoming a spectator of a whole new life. A good movie can turn a crummy day into a pretty exciting one. The excitement and depression from these movies are easily overlooked by the average person watching a movie on a Saturday night. I pay attention and I try to find answers. I'm trying to change my perspective to how the people in movies would live their lives.
Drama is the most entertaining to me, but they aren't the only movies with a message. Disney does a great job producing movies that portray a broad view of life. They can represent childhood, innocence and what it's like to grow up through animals and fantastical objects. This is part of the reason why I like Disney so much. They are not a greedy film company looking for a few extra bucks by releasing a terrible movie to consumers. There is a purpose behind every line and every action in a movie. Almost all of their movies are quality films that will be remembered from decade to decade.
Also, great movies are defined by the directors and actors/actresses in them. Steven Spielberg is one of the greatest directors on earth. Most of his movies are my favorites. Kevin Spacey is a fantastic actor (voice of Hopper in A Bug's Life, The Usual Suspects). Even simple movies like Never Back Down with no-name actors can leave a lasting effect based on the overall message trying to be portrayed.
Although movies take a while to watch, I think they are all worth a chance. Just watch a trailer! Heck, read a book. It'll be better than any movie you watch, but it takes a heck of a lot longer to complete.

*movies that changed my life
The Deer Hunter
Into the Wild
The Shawshank Redemption
Forrest Gump
Schindler's List
It's A Wonderful Life
A Christmas Story
Finding Nemo
The Lion King
And many, many, many more!

Name a movie and there's a 70% chance I've seen it. Do it.
Between movies, math and money, I'm set for life!

~These aren't the only movies I watch. I'll keep you posted.

THE OLDEN DAYS

   My whole life, in history class, looking through museums, watching movies and even digging up some pictures of my early family, I always pictured the old days in black and white. It's hard for me to get a clear picture of what things actually looked like for people in the 1700s, 1800s and early 1900s. A very eye opening experience for me was a trip to the University of Pennsylvania. The antiquated campus seemed to bring me back a hundred years. Somehow, I knew that the same sight I saw was shared by someone many years ago, that as real as the buildings looked now, they looked the same for someone before my time.

   I feel like it's difficult to convey what I actually mean about this matter. Take for example a glass bottle of Coca-Cola. 70 years ago, this thing wasn't black and white... It was the same color, same taste, the same image it is perceived today. 

   Another experience that made me wonder was when I watched film of an old baseball game. The footage was choppy and the players were just blurs. Their odd baseball maneuvers seemed preposterous to me and in my mind, I could not put myself in their shoes. I could not imagine myself as a 1930s baseball player seeing a pitch come to me the exact same way it does today. Would I react the same way? Would the pitch do something I've never seen before? The "realness" is impossible for me to imagine.

   Also, Shakespearean times are difficult for me to imagine. Did the clothes they wore give off an aurora of wealth, or to the contrary, an impoverished stench, just by the the sight of them? Pantaloons were cool then and cargo shorts are cool now. Where did we go astray? Anyways, it's hard for me to accept what a Shakespearean person looked like. They looked like people do today. No different. Just their attributes were slightly askew. Over the years, the only thing that has changed in our appearance is hair, clothing and make-up.

   If you were thrown into the 80s, would you know where you were? Would you notice peculiarities in your vision? Would what you see be less crisp than what you see in our present day? Does vision somehow change to a different hue? The answer is no. But like I said, it's difficult to imagine. 

~This isn't the only thing I have trouble imagining. I'll keep you posted.

WHAT IF...

   Something had me thinking today. What if everyone on Earth jumped in the air at the same exact moment? Would Earth spin a little faster in that brief period and people would land maybe a foot away from where they jumped from? Or maybe the planet would be so confused, we'd shoot out and end up in orbit somewhere by Andromeda. Hmm... This is one for the scientists.

   Also, we must think about how to spread the word that everyone is jumping at a certain time. Third world countries would have a hard time receiving the news and time zones might mess up the plans. And there is less than a one second frame where people have to jump, considering  "the average max standing jump is about 0.53 seconds" (wiki).

   I think it would be so cool if we could get half a population to do this. Even just a town jumping would make it feel like an earthquake.

   While we're on the subject, I also think it would be awesome if we could get an entire stadium of people to make weird noises at the same time. A USA chant sounds great no matter how many people join in, but if 40,000 people said it at the same time, nothing would be more patriotic. What else... oh, an entire stadium where everyone claps at the same time, sings in harmony, inhales at the same time, and/or exhales at the same time... all cool to me.

   Unison has a way of making me smile so if anyone knows where an event like this is taking place, please, LET ME KNOW. okay

~This is not the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_average_standing_jump_hangtime_for_a_human

Credit where credit is due ^^^

DISNEY

   What is it that makes a theme park the 'happiest place on Earth'? What do people look forward to when coming here? The rides? (I know for a fact it isn't the rude foreigners...) You can go on rides in Hershey Park or Busch Gardens or Dorney Park or Six Flags... So why is Disney any different?
Well I'll tell ya: there's just something magical about this place. It's in the air. The weather may be offsetting at times and everything may be going wrong for you back home, but when you come here everything seems to change. You forget who you are, what real life is and just soak in the fact that you are in another 'world'.
   Let's face it, you won't see any of these people again so you can be whoever you want. Today I was an obnoxious Canadian tourist, representing Canada with my Montreal Olympics shirt. I laughed loudly at corny jokes I heard and I said "eh" every now and then in case anybody was listening to my conversations. I can be the person I can't be at home. I walk around my hotel/motel/resort (I'm not sure what it is) wearing nothing but shorts because hey, again, who cares.
   For the past 17 years, I've been told that if I want something in life, I have to go and take it. I'll be honest in saying that I never had this way of thinking. I kind of just let things happen and never seem to take responsibility in pursuing my personal interests. But this place is making me someone who I never was, someone who feels obligated to make sure he makes the most of his young life.
   The last time I was here was the first time I was able to fully appreciate all the parks had to offer. When I returned home, I was too upset to go to sleep because I liked this place so much. I would close my eyes and imagine that I was here, wish I was here, even though I knew my next trip wouldn't be for years to come. I wanted my life at home to be like it was here. Maybe that's because this is the one place my family can go to without arguing with one another. We become a fully functional family who makes weird jokes that only we understand. Families make Disney what it is today.
   You don't have to be a thrill-seeking, coaster junkie to like it here, I'm quite the antithesis. You just need to know how to relax and enjoy your surroundings without being a total doofus. Rules don't apply here. Whether you're trekking through an Animal Kingdom safari or you're playing carnival games with Buzz Lightyear, there's always something for you to do.
   Rides, food, attractions, stores, fun, more food, imagination and childhood. You know how Chuck E. Cheese is "Where a kid can be a kid"? Well Disney is "Where a 1-100 year old can be a kid". That is the basic layout of Disney for ya. So if you've never been, come down.
   This truly is the happiest place on Earth. It's where dreams come true.

MUSIC

   There are so many different types of music out there; jazz, rap, pop and so on and so forth. How do we come to love just one type of music? I myself never could. I love songs from every single genre out there.
For example, some of my favorite bands/people are:
  Daft Punk
  Black Keys
  Boston
  Lynyrd Skynyrd
  Bing Crosby
  Jason Mraz
  (LOOK AT THAT VARIETY)
-Little known fact: I spent most of my childhood listening to Ludacris, Outkast, eminem, Limp Bizkit, Creed, Jock Jams, country music and *NSYNC. And you wonder why I'm so weird.
   One type that I could never tire of no matter how much I listen to it is southern rock (Lynyrd Skynyrd, Pure Prairie League, The Allman Brothers, The Doobie Brothers, Marshall Tucker Band) because it reminds me of good times and happiness way back in the day. I used to listen to a cd with all of those bands when I was little and on my way to the beach with my family and I ALWAYS had a fantastic time.
   My guess is that we closely relate music we like to the emotions we are feeling when listening. If you listen to the Beach Boys whenever you go to the beach, chances are they put you in a good mood when you listen to them at home. If you listen to techno when you work out, you'll probably get energetic whenever you listen to it. If you relate rap to violence, you prob won't enjoy listening to it ever. It's all psychological. Don't think... Just listen and enjoy.
   What is so wrong with listening to every single genre out there? I like to fall asleep listening to the 5000 songs on my Zune on shuffle. This usually brings me anything from Christmas music to dubstep to dubstep Christmas music XD but I loooooove everything I listen to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to stick to one type of music.
   "Chickity china the Chinese chicken, have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin".... I don't care who you are, that's fun to say. (It's 'One Week' by Barenaked Ladies).
   Someone I know told me she liked The Fray and even though I don't usually listen to bands like them, I gave it a try. And you know what? IT WASN'T BAD. So now I listen to them and others of the same quality all because I gave em a try. What I'm trying to say is forget about your opinions and just listen to everything. GEEZE IT'S NOT THAT HARD PEOPLE.
   So whether you are feeling relaxed or if you need a kick start to your day, there is always music to listen to. Don't discriminate music... You're only depriving yourself from enjoyment!

~This isn't the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.