WEIRD RUNNING CLIPS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1i7jufSVgA&feature=plcp 
While I was running.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvwY4PdzhP4&feature=plcp 
Later while I was running.

Went over 8 MILES due to some inspiration from a friend and because I felt better than usual, which is odd.

My house -> Swarthmore College -> Modified Rose Garden (through the campus) -> Wrong Turn down a Dark Street -> RUNNING IN FEAR of being MURDERED IN THE DARK -> High School -> Around the Middle School -> INSTEAD OF GOING STRAIGHT HOME, took a path back to MacDade vs Morton Ave -> Straight up MacDade -> Home Sweet Home.

My legs felt terrible when I stopped. But my spirit was lifted high in the sky! #MANLY

I will probably stop after 1 mile tomorrow if I even wake up. Mac's going to ask me how far I ran this week and I'll be like "BAM! I RAN JUST OVER 28 MILES WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"We're in for one wild night." -300
Midget?

CONFIDENCE

   I have no confidence whatsoever. 

   Now that that is cleared up, I have a very vague and open question: where does confidence come from? Is it something taught to us as children? Because if it was, I never had this lesson... 

   Can confidence be learned over time? Sure it can! That's what I'm trying to force on myself, as painful as it is. I had myself involved with things I never imagined my Junior year of high school. Now this summer I'm forcing myself to talk to people (so painful), mainly in person and on the phone, but even texting/chatting too. 

   I feel like there is so much interaction that is gradually forced on us over the years anyway, like for example I would have never needed to call a Sears representative to reserve a Cooper Response Touring P185/65R15 88T BSW tire in Delaware before, but now I have a car so... What I'm trying to say is that responsibilities are pushed on us as we get older and I don't like it. I never have and maybe it's because I'm spoiled, but seriously talking to people is like a fear that I have to overcome every single day.

   THE FEAR OF TALKING (I think) is due to the fear of my words not being accepted. I ALWAYS say the wrong thing.     Chinese Waitress from a Chinese Buffet: "How are you doing with your soda?" Me: "Yes."     So what's the only solution to this problem? Limit the amount of words spoken. Oops, now I'm a mute. That was a great idea. Sike. I'm so lonely, I'm talking to myself. See?

   On a side note, I hate how people say they don't care what anyone else thinks. If that was really true, they would walk around naked wearing a satchel filled with change and every time they made a purchase, they would take out handfuls of change and pour it on the counter. People care what other people think, unless they are around their friends and I don't have friends that could accept me for who I am besides my brother and Tim. Lame, I KNOW.

   But I have noticed that the more people I talk to (well, really the more people that talk TO ME), the more confidence I end up having and the happier I am. It's complicated. For the past year, I've been too focused on the fact that I have no friends and have missed out on many opportunities to change my predicament. LIKE LEAVING MY HOUSE FOR ONCE. One day it's just going to click and I'll throw the wildest party known to man (I said this to myself 5 years ago. ugh).

   So the only way to build confidence is to jump right in; don't worry about the minor consequences of your little actions, just do what pleases you. That's the only way people can figure out their true personality and become THE MOST CONFIDENT PERSON IN THE WORLD. 

~This is not the only thing I fear. I'll keep you posted.

GHOSTS

   Could it be possible that there are ghosts here in this world? That they are forever haunting houses and places of interest on land and on sea? I myself am a believer because I have experienced a close encounter with one. Now, prior to this event, I had been exposed to ghost stories. I loved reading them but they were nothing like what I had experienced that night when I was seven...

   One night when I was little and watching Lord of the Rings with my parents, I decided to call it a night and headed upstairs to my bed. I slept in the same room as my brother and we had bunk-beds; I had the top. When I reached to turn on my light when I walked in, nothing happened, so I figured the light bulb burnt out. I shrugged it off and climbed up to my bunk in the pitch black darkness. Finally settled in, I felt something brush my leg. It froze me in terror when it happened but I tried convincing myself it was just the cat, even though my cats didn't like sleeping with me then (6ft high bunk bed just isn't the place for them). Then, as I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep, right next to my face I heard something say "YOU'RE MY PRECIOUS" kind of like Gollum would say in LotR and this was enough to scare the wits out of me. I jumped (fell) out of my bunk bed (probably sprained my ankle) and the next thing I knew I was downstairs next to my parents explaining to them what happened, out of breath. They thought I was ridiculous but I forced them to let me sleep in their bed.

   Okay, I'm not a very courageous person but even Stone Cold Steve Austin would have cried if he had to sleep alone that night. See, ghosts do exist. If they don't, why do we have thousands of TV shows and documentaries that claim that they do? They gather proof that ghosts exist! 

   So real question here is, WHY are the ghosts here haunting us? Could it be that they are loved ones trying to help us? Or bitter rich men who tried to buy their way out of death, but could never fully come back to the real world? Or babies who were never born but grew up in the shadow world, and now are full grown up ghosts getting their revenge? The things I can think of... 

   Even if what I experienced was not true and I had falsely lived in fear every moment since, I do wish that ghosts are real because that adds another dimension to what we think life is. If anyone could prove its existence with cold hard facts, it would probably consist of two parts, science and religion. Two ideas that have never gotten along with each other. Go science! Still rooting for you, and I think we are winning. Now it's time for the science quote of the day to remind us why we have religion in our lives:

"The more the universe seems comprehensible, the more it also seems pointless."

-Steven Weinberg

~This is not the only thing I worry about, nor wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

OLYMPICS

“Where does a story truly begin? In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings, those moments when we can, in looking back, say that everything started. Yet there are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives, setting in motion a sequence of events whose outcome we could never have foreseen.”

—       "A Bend in the Road" by Nicholas Sparks

   It's that time again. The time for the Summer Olympics. The time when we show our pride in the country we forgot we were a part of. The time when we remind ourselves what it truly means to be American in this terrorstruck world. 
   So my main point today is figuring out the 'road' an Olympic athlete must take to get to where he or she is this year, in London. Obviously, there should be the dream. This dream starts at many different times for people. Sometimes, there is no dream for the person, but for this case, there just is. The dream starts when a person starts to realize his or her talents. This could be the person making headlines in the paper for the first time or being noticed by a scout for a college. But there will always be the notion inside the brain that this person can become so much more that a local hero. There are bigger fish to fry.
   To truly become great, you must first learn that becoming the best requires a need for success, comparable to a need for oxygen. You must wake up in the morning with the same dream, and fall asleep with satisfaction. The satisfaction of trying your hardest no matter what was in your way. Only then could you know that you were doing everything possible to reach your peak.
   Always remember that the Olympic judges do not have bias. Athletes are judged purely on talent. No matter how much money your family has, talent cannot be bought; it must be earned. And NO amount of money will get you a gold medal (unless someone puts it on eBay...). There is no way to bribe officials plus that would be illegal so don't even try. Of course, it does help to have money for training purposes, but in the long run, natural ability prevails. 
   It is sad that my Olympic dream will never have truth unto itself, for Baseball has been eradicated from the Summer Olympics for the time being (SAD FACE). No matter what I do now, I fear I will not be able to represent my country. I guess becoming a pro athlete requires the same mentality of being an Olympic one, without the national pride stuff, so that's the best thing our country has to offer now. 

~I fear this did not make any sense. I'll keep you posted.

MAIL

   Remember back in the day when you received something, anything, in the mail and it had your name on it? And the special letters that addressed you as Mr./Ms.? THAT WAS THE COOLEST! No matter who the letter was from or what the contents were inside, you could not wait to open it. 
   I know for a fact that I am still this way. No matter what college sends me letters or what bank wants me to set up a credit card, I will be sure to open it. It's a shame that others are not like this anymore though. My parents, for example, throw out mail without showing the slightest interest in seeing what's inside.
   So why is it that adults have lost their love for opening mail over the course of their lifetime? Could it be that they no longer want surprises in their lives? That is a shame in my opinion. It's a shame that through 'growing up' we forget who we are, who we were. 
   I hope I never become this way. I vow to always open my mail, no matter how menial the task becomes. I am still waiting for the day that I get a surprise letter that looks like it should be thrown out but I open it and inside I find a thousand dollar bill. That would be glorious. 
   So the next time you throw out a letter without opening it, ask yourself whether or not you could live with yourself if there had been a little present inside for you. You could be throwing out millions of dollars in inheritance from a long lost uncle who disguised his will as a letter from American Express offering .02% interest for 5 years. Remember, remember.

~This is not the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

DREAMS

   Dreams are something our heart wants when we are fast asleep. Dreams are the essence of our existence. Dreams push us forward in life when everything seems to be going wrong. They provide us with hope for something, as ridiculous that something may seem, and remind us that there are always things we can do to give ourselves joy. Dreams for some differ from dreams for others, but each dream means the same to each dreamer. They mean HOPE.

   Now, my dreams are not to be confused with the types of fantasy, but rather realistic dreams that are attainable in a lifetime. These dreams are of my future, my life as an adult. Here is my dream of life:

   I dream of going to college/university. In this institution, I make many friends from sports and from 'partying'. Friends of whom will remain in my life for years to come. While struggling to understand the curriculum, I work hard enough to keep my GPA above a 3.5 and still have time to spend with the people I know and love. Family first, then school, then friends. Maybe, just maybe, there WILL be someone I come to love in these years. Probably not, but maybe. In that case, studies can wait because that's not more important than someone I like. I probably will not meet that someone though, so there's no use worrying.

   Out of school, I plan to commit to the AP review and my team. Sorry! Calculus inside joke. 

   After school, I plan on securing a job that can afford me a nice apartment near the office and a decent car that I will not have to worry about breaking down in the middle of major highways. My first paid vacation, I will travel to another country and build up a nice tan with a lady friend. Of course there would be a lady friend. I will not travel to another country by myself... there's nobody to share wonder and enjoyment with in that scenario. 

   By now, I should be able to read in another language with comfort, but not ease. Probably just Spanish but maybe Greek or Italian. Reading and/or watching movies will be my entertainment for nights I do not find myself with friends. If things with the lady friend are serious... which should be by this point... I would consider buying a solid home (with more than one bathroom) in a low-crime suburb of a beautiful city for the two of us. The town I move into will have stores along the street, not malls and superstores, but a barber and a grocer and a candy store and little shops like that. The school district will be one of the best in the state in academics and will be good, not great, in athletics. By this point I will have considered children and will have realized that it's time I have some of my own. I have a well paying job, along with my lady friend, and we realize that the expenses of a child will not interrupt our lives and how we live them. 

   Marriage is dawning. I have realized it since the first day I met her. We would get married one day and have children and a beautiful home. Well, the home is ours and we want the children. So much of our time is spent together anyways. The only thing that proves we are not married in public is that we don't have rings. That is going to change very soon. I talk to her friends about marriage and when one seems to understand my plan, we go to get the ring at a jewelry store. One strikes my eye instantly, but the price tag is WAY too much. She wouldn't even like it anyway. It's too elegant and luxurious for her liking. I know her kind of ring: Simple, yet profound. The way light hits the stone, you could stare for hours at its beauty. And there it is. I know the size and instantly bark at the jeweler "THIS IS THE ONE!" And it is mine. All mine. For now...

   Waiting for the perfect time. We go hiking and running through the woods and in the mountains. I plan to propose at the top, but when we get there, I chicken out. I convince myself it's not the right time. What if she says no? It would be a LONG walk back. It could ruin everything! I'm taking it too fast, so I wait a month. 

   She knows something has been bothering me. I ask if she wants to go to the Cheesecake Factory for a special dinner with me and she says yes with a smile. When we get there, I have a fantastic idea. Crazy, but I think it's fantastic. I ask to use the bathroom and go through 'Employee Only' doors to the kitchen. I ask a baker about it and he laughs and says yes. When I come back I make the straightest face of my life. I could win poker games with that face. After we finish our always-delicious meals, our desert comes and we are ecstatic. I stare as she takes a bite into her slice of cheesecake and then it happens. She stops and pulls the ring out then I kneel and it's wonderful and she says yes and everyone in the Cheesecake Factory claps and we're overjoyed. Happy times!

   Fast forward through the most beautiful wedding ever (I didn't plan more than 10% of it HA). We have two children, both boys, who love their family and are loved by their family. They are smart for their age and are very athletic. They like to run and play baseball like me. One is a fantastic writer and is in the band. The other loves math but can't stand reading for more than an hour at a time. We all love each other. Of course, there are times when we don't get along, but we are not dysfunctional. We love to do things together like fishing and going to ball parks and watching hockey games and going to see movies.

   My wife and I know that as they are growing up, we are getting older as well. The things our children do, the fads they get themselves into, remind us of how naive we were growing up. Spoiled, in fact, with our internet and cellular phones. They will have some new type of social media that we can't understand how to work. They'll be annoyed as we try to show our love when they get older, but they still know that we do it because of what they mean to us. When they finally leave college, we'll move to a beach somewhere, or maybe South Dakota. Somewhere quiet and peaceful where we can spend our time together. We'll do the things we never could with them around. Explore places we've never been before, even though we don't have our youth anymore. 

   From time to time, our children will visit or call. Now they have kids of their own! Wow, they're growing up fast. It seems like just yesterday they were being coddled and sung back to sleep each night. I begin to miss those days, but it doesn't last long. I am thankful for the things I have experienced in life with the people I've experienced them with. 

   My grandkids ask me how life was growing up in my time and I say, unlike my grandfather said to me, that it was really easy! Everything I needed in life was all around me. Things that made me happy were cheap and a low-paying job was easy to come by. I had a great time in school and I had many friends. I felt like the luckiest man in the world when your grandmother said yes to my proposal. The story of the ring in the cake doesn't make sense to them and they ask what I would have done if she chipped a tooth. Kids these days... 

   Oh well, I envy their innocence and energy because I am old now. I can no longer run and neither can she. Arthritis ugh. We can share meds though so it's cool. Not once since we moved into the new house have we argued. Not once have we betrayed each other. She was the only love for me, as I was for her. 

   It was the most painful night of my life when she passed in her sleep next to me in our bed. She was sick for a while and it was just her time. The month afterward was a blur to me. Anything I did, I expected her to be beside me, but she wasn't. I was ashamed for what I had become in that month. I was shallow and bitter. I felt as if I could not live without her. Then I had my dream. The dream of her and all she had given me. The new things I learned from her, the family we had created. I loved her for this and I realized something... Everything around me was because of her. We were one. When family visited, I was happy. I was excited to see them because she was them. She was the home. She was everything that brought me joy. 

   That's why for the next FEW years, I was the happiest old man anyone had ever seen. I made made my lasting effect in the community by donating some of our wealth to orphanages and to build a recreational center in memory of my wife. Why the next FEW years, you may ask. That's because I became sick too. I knew it was my time to go as well and I welcomed it. I could not wait to finally be with my wife. When I get there, I know she will be waiting and we can continue the life that we had forever.

~This is the short version of my dream. I skipped over many things. I'll keep you posted.

SLEEP

   Why do we all need sleep? I mean, every single person needs it and without it, we feel groggy and dopey, but WHY do we need it? What exactly does sleeping do? Has anyone even done research into this? How can you even research this?!?
   I am one who loves sleep. I think it's my super comfortable bed. But I only love sleep in the morning. At night, I could really care less about sleeping. So a good night of sleep consists of 8 hours of undisturbed rest. Any more than that will leave me feeling more tired so I sleep even longer. Any less than that will be painful trying to wake up so I go back to sleep for 5 more hours. Who is the genius that tried waking up at different times every day until he found the exact time that will you make you feel great all day (8 hours)? 

   I read in the ever-so-truthful Bathroom Reader that as you get older, your body needs more rest to recover from a day of work/activity. But it seems as though as we get older, we get less and less sleep. WTH THIS MAKES NO SENSE. Of course we have school at like 7:30 in the morning which is earlier than middle school which is even earlier than elementary school (I never went to preschool so I cannot vouch for those times). And work is early, too, especially for people who have to commute!
   Why can't we just stay awake forever. So many things could get accomplished! More bridges would be built, there would be more jobs, no more world hunger, world peace would exist, and there would be cities in the sky! If you don't fall asleep, all of your wildest dreams will come true (Napoleon Dynamite reference). At least once in your life, pull an all-nighter. It's worth it. But not more than a few times. Then it's unhealthy. And you should probably see a doctor. Okay.
   I have to go. Gotta get some sleep. 

~These are not the only things I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

ROLLER COASTERS

   Lots of people enjoy roller coasters. Especially everyone I know. I don't. NEVER HAVE I EVER liked roller coasters. When I was 4, I screamed on the little baby roller coaster in Ocean City, NJ and I made them stop it. Everyone on it  probably hated me but I didn't care. That was the most frightening experience of my life at that point in time.
   Why do I not enjoy them? I have no idea. I have tried convincing myself that 'the experience is worth it' and that 'when I go on one, I won't be able to stop'... but that is a complete lie. I went on three in Disney/Universal a few years back and they were not the least bit fun. I was frightened to the point of making them stop the ride twice, but every time they ignored my pleas. I will hold this against them forever.
   There must be other coaster chickens like me out there, trying to understand the thrill of riding legal death contraptions. Anyone else? Just know that if I EVER go on a coaster with you, you are something special.

~This is not the only thing I worry about. I'll keep you posted.

UMPIRES

   About 97% of umpires I have ever had were terrible. Like why do they even get paid money to do such a bad job at making calls? We've got one guy who thinks he's a major league umpire with his 2 inch strike zone and another guy who makes calls in the field before plays are even over! This is a sub 20 year old league. We are not professionals. If it's that hard to make a right call, quit your jobs and hang out with Jim Joyce (see Armando Galarraga's 'perfect game'). 
   What is it that makes umpiring so difficult...?
   Methinks it is a result of their childhood. They are out to spite every player aspiring to be a somebody because they were never good at baseball as children. Or that they were good and had a career ending injury that they were always upset about and the only way they could reach out with their pain was by making bad calls. That last one is a stretch. Umpires have no souls.
   I hope this has been eye opening for all of us. For you see, no world can exist where players <3 umpires. It's a part of the game. 
   Sorry for the hatred expressed in writing. Some umpires made me mad today. Good thing I won't see them again for a couple months! Good for them, I mean... 

~This is not the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

WALKING/RUNNING

Hope I'm not the only person in the world who thinks he walks funny. And runs weird. SO MANY PEOPLE say I run weird and now it's bottled in my head. Maybe we all just run/walk differently. I do what's comfortable to me. I wonder if more people feel the same way. Like who even taught us how to walk properly? NOBODY. There is no elementary school class called 'Walking Etiquette' so that we learn the right way to walk. I blame society. HOW are we supposed to run, too? As far as I'm concerned, if my arms and legs are moving and I'm going faster than 5mph, then I'm running right. But apparently that's wrong. So call the swag police on me. 

~This is not the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

I AM NOT DEFIANT, MOM

  Here's an odd problem... Ever since the first time I was yelled at by my father, I have not been able to stop myself from smirking and eventually cracking up while he or my mom lectures me. It's not that I am not taking them seriously or anything. I think that everything they say is important for my future and so that I don't end up living as a bum in Baltimore (they have a lot there). 
  Just the other day my dad was saying how great I am when I devote myself, but that now I am just a lazy teenager who has no ambition in life. I realized he was serious, but felt a smile coming on. Then I burst out laughing. As if he thought I was laughing at him, he lectured me in rage about how I will never survive on my own in college. Seriously. 
  My mom swears each day I'm getting more and more rebellious. But I am not a defiant kid. I just can't help but smile in awkward situations. I think it's funny that I'm doing something completely unexpected, I guess. Who expects someone to start laughing in the middle of yelling?! NOBODY. That's just a weird thing to do. I wonder if I'm weird.

~This is not the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

CATS

Is in normal for cats to snore? Just wondering because mine does and it keeps me up at night. Any solution to this problem would be greatly appreciated. 

Like seriously cat, go downstairs and snore. Don't bother me in my bed.

~This is not the only thing I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.

STUFF THAT I WONDER ABOUT

How different are we from one another? We may all have separate interests in life, but the way we perceive things must have some sort of similarity. For as long as I can remember, I always believed that two people could love colors such as orange and green but they are just perceived differently... meaning that one person sees orange and the other person (who is actually seeing the orange that the other person sees) thinks it is green. Maybe this has always been the reason why people like some things more than others. We perceive different things in the same way that attracts us to them. But then I came to realize that we would have a green sun and my idea went to boot. That was confusing.

ALSO why can some people do things like math better than others? I always hear people saying that they 'were born with the talent', or on the other hand that they 'never understood it'. Being born with a talent makes no sense to me. I feel like this is implying that they would be great or bad at something no matter what without any practice. The only way someone gets good at something is due to dedication and practice. Children who are supposed to be 'phenoms' are taught math somehow... they don't just come out of the womb one day and start talking about String Theory. There must be some learning involved in the process. Maybe forced learning from the parents at an early age or a die-hard dedication to research. In my honest opinion, if you say you are bad at math, I would bet my bottom dollar you never tried hard in the subject at a young age.

WHY do people like to walk around at 1 in the morning and talk really loud.

HOW THE HECK do computers work. I mean, computers are extremely fascinating to me and I would love to learn more about them but where am I supposed to start? Heck, things like submarines are just as confusing. Like there are so many pipes going up and down all around... If I broke one, would anything even happen to it? PROBABLY NOT. My guess is that they are there for show. Anyways, computers. Even the computer chips... just the chips... how is it possible for a person to make one of them? Who even thought of them? They are genius inventions! Really hope I learn this one day.

WHY DO WE HAVE GRASS IF WE'RE JUST GOING TO CUT IT EVERY WEEK. I mean, we could have invented something by now that has the same effects on soil and plant growth that grass does so why keep it up? And cutting it is such a pain. It gets in the way of everyone's busy schedule and not one person thinks twice about how RIDICULOUS IT IS for EVERY SINGLE PERSON all across the NATION to be keeping up the image of their home by cutting grass. There are some benefits like capturing carbon in the air and thus purifying the air we breath, but some people who have old fuel mowers are adding gases to the air while cutting grass anyway! Now I'm not saying that we should get rid of all grass yards, I mean, I think they look nice and American. I just believe that the idea behind them is stupid, okay?

~These are not the only things I wonder about. I'll keep you posted.